On Jesse's Birthday, 2006
I did it for you.
They ALL gave me till
OH! You'll be in SUCH PAIN!
they should know by now never
to tell this lady "you can't........"
by tomorrow night, son-
all the pain meds'll be out of my
aging, decrepit bod, I gave the vials-
all full, an urban burial this morning's.
and, hopefully, you're on OUR SOIL
and will turn 20 years old.
I'd like to think, also, you'll be
soberly riding down a road on a scooter
hair flying through your dark brown hair
on your way to a party in your honor.
I have hopes of someday meeting you
I've blown up the only photos I've got of us
you and I at a park-
you sucking down soymilk
at 4 days old
I put them with my other "prayer pics":
Lee-my old biker bro- who cleaned up
and then disappeared again,
Scoot, my Namvet biker bro who ate his 45
after getting clean, then
pickin up the needle-and, as the song
goes: "the damage done........" and Bob
Murphy who outlived all docs' expectations
and died of liver CA- may everyone hear his
jokes when they get to the big Sturgis in the sky-
he went deep sea fishing, won the big catch
two days before he closed his never say never
and, of course Willy-my incredible lyricist bro-
I'd throw myself in front of a train (the uptown #1)
to save him-who lost part of his body and still stayed clean..
And yeah, my left knee's still sore
but I'll be at Laconia this year
if I gotta crawl
truth is- I quit 4 years of pain meds
just in case you decided to show
at my door, somehow this particular
I didnít want you seein' your scooter
trash mom all doped up.
I truly want and have to be clean.
and I will be, come tomorrow,
and if I close my eyes,
I can hear Vivaldi's
"4 Season's" playing in
the delivery room
as you were born, that early spring afternoon.
and I sure know where you got that scream from-
it wasn't your dad!